My Secondhand Year

For a variety of reasons (chief among them being money, time, personal values, and an overcrowded closet), I decided to take the year 2023 off from buying anything new for myself — no new clothes, shoes, boots, scarves, hats, coats, jewelry, perfume. While I’ve been working out the “rules” of this endeavor in my mind, I’ve been telling people about it to help me stay accountable to my goal. I really want to see if this decision is as transformative as I think it could be, and the only way to do that is to stick with it long after the rest of my New Year’s resolutions dissolve under a plate of french fries or a mug of hot cocoa & peppermint schnapps.

The other day, when I mentioned my plan to a friend, her eyes got really wide and she looked at me with a mix of skepticism and concern. “What will you do if you need new tennis shoes?” she asked me. “Or what if you get invited to a fancy wedding and need a new dress?” I told her I was still working out the actual details, and she said, “You should write a blog about this.” Hmmm.

My friend’s concern over my ability to not buy things I need FOR A WHOLE YEAR got me thinking about the concept of “need.” Clearly there is a lot to unpack here — need vs. want and all that. So, why not write a blog about it? Here I’ll share my journey, my successes (by which I mean things like: this morning I got an email from Uniqlo about a sweater I had looked at now being on sale — $29.99! — which in itself is a little creepy by the way, and I deleted it without even clicking through to see if my size was still available), my failures (there will be some I’m sure; I can’t *quite* bring myself to close the tab on the Aquatalia loafers I’ve been drooling over for months), and any insights I gain and changes I experience over a year of restraining (and retraining) myself.

A bit about me for any readers who stumble upon this and don’t know me: I’m a mom who lives in Denver. I’m in my 50s. I’m not rich, and I don’t wear high-fashion clothes. My issue is not that I impulsively bought yet another Hermès bag or Celine sweater (if only). I don’t really think I have a shopping addiction (we’ll see about that, won’t we), but I do spend an inordinate amount of time and money shopping, mostly online. And the funny thing is I still kinda hate my wardrobe. Or maybe I just don’t like myself in the clothes I have… As I said, a LOT to unpack.

Here’s what I do know:

• I have too many clothes, especially for my lifestyle.
• I don’t really go anywhere most days except the gym or the grocery store (I’m a freelance writer and editor and have worked mostly from home for years), and trust me, when I’m at the grocery store, I am not in an “outfit”; it’s mostly leggings and a hoody or a down coat if it’s cold.
• When I do go to “nicer” places (out to lunch, a work function, a night out with friends, a date with my husband), I almost always wear the same (boring) clothes.
• Buying everything you want is neither fun nor interesting.
• Having a closet full of clothes you don’t love — and rarely if ever wear — is oppressive. And depressing.
• It’s not in line with my values to over-consume, and I don’t want to contribute to the fast-fashion, throwaway economy.
• Looking at handbags online is not a good use of my time. I’m not a personal shopper; I’m a writer and a person who has better things to do than search for the perfect lambswool sweater (which by the way, I have).
• Shopping actually tends to stress me out, so…eureka! I have a brilliant idea: Don’t do it.

In an effort to not write posts that are hideously long, I’ll save the list of my “rules” for the next post. I’m super excited about this and actually feel a little lighter already. I’m also excited to share this journey, which hopefully will resonate with some of you — whether it’s about buying jeans or electronics or cute notebooks and office supplies — so thank you for reading!