My Secondhand Year

Apparently, 50-plus years of life are not enough. Nope. I needed 50-plus years of life (maybe 40 years of shopping?) AND a year of not shopping to realize that I don’t really need the things I think I need.

I can hear myself in years past:

“I need some new black pants.”
“I really need a gray cashmere cardigan.”
“OMG, I really need those green ski pants from Halfdays.”
“Even though I have 15 pairs of jeans, I need some baggy, wide-leg ones.”
“My life would be complete if I had a Veronica Beard Miller jacket.”

Other recent “needs”: tall black boots that are different from my other tall black boots, Veja white sneakers, chunky loafers, a baguette purse, a Chan Luu scarf, a black puffer coat for CU football games, Vuori sweatpants, a green tennis skirt (what’s with the green?). And on and on and on.

I don’t normally think of myself as a covetous person, but taking this year off from shopping has made me realize how I used to frame my wants as needs. Clearly, I didn’t actually need any of these things (and I currently don’t own many of them, just to be clear), but I’ve been trained to focus on the things I don’t have and determine that they are “holes” — gaps that must be filled. This year, since my shopping has been restricted, I’ve had to work around these supposed holes in my wardrobe, and guess what? I have managed just fine so far.

(Well, except for my new snow boots. But they actually came from a secondhand boutique and with a funny story. It snowed here last week, and when I went out to help with the shoveling, I realized that where my snow boots have sat lined up by our garage door for the last few years, now I only had one snow boot. I looked around, assuming the other boot couldn’t have gone far. Then I got frustrated and started tearing the place apart (meanwhile my hubby finished the shoveling without me), and I never found the other boot. I guess the story is not that funny, but what happened to that one boot remains a mystery — my money is on one of my daughter’s goofy friends thinking it would be hilarious to jump in the snow wearing only one boot. But having only one snow boot does me no good, so I had to do a little shopping.)

But back to the things I think I need, as opposed to an actual need (I live in Colorado so consider snow boots a necessity). It kinda cracks me up when I think back on how badly I wanted that blazer, or some crisp poplin shirt to wear under it. Where exactly did I imagine myself wearing this spiff outfit? King Soopers? The neighborhood sushi joint? Even for the occasional occasion when I do need something pulled together and even elegant to wear, I probably wouldn’t wear that. It’s actually a little too spiff for me, if you know what I mean.

Over the last 10 (and a half!) months, it’s gotten easier and easier for me to refrain from buying things because I’ve started asking myself the question, “Where would you wear that?” I know we all know to ask that question, but I think I have a fantasy life where I live in New York City or Paris and routinely stroll the city, walk to museums, poke my head into cute shops, and meet friends at sidewalk cafés for tiny cups of coffee. Not that I never do these things, but when I do, I have plenty of things to wear. I don’t cruise around looking like an influencer, but that’s OK.

So, I guess the point of this post is to really, really, really think about your lifestyle before you buy anything. Not revolutionary, I know — but also easy to forget when in the presence of a gorgeous camel trenchcoat. Looking back on the list of past perceived needs above, I remind myself that I already have ski pants, and so far I haven’t needed a black puffer for college football games (now a CU cowboy hat — that’s another story).

As we head into what is for me sure to be the most challenging part of this year, the time when I’m forced to shop (for others, but STILL!), I needed to write this mostly as a reminder for myself. I know I will be seeing satin and sparkles and lots of can’t-live-without holiday plaids (I’m a sucker for tartans) that will beckon me to buy them for my fabulous holiday social calendar.

But then I remember that my favorite holiday event is buying Speck ham at the Christkindl market — the perfect place to debut my cozy new snow boots.